So after waking up very annoyed one night, because my hair was practically choking me to death while I was trying oh so very hard to sleep, I’ve decided to make it officially known …
I hate my hair!
Now before you argue with me about how great it looks, hear me out! Then maybe, just maybe, you’ll stop wishing you had my hair. (As if that were ever possible!)
I can’t sleep with my hair out, it MUST be up in a bun.
No not in a ponytail, a bun! It is strictly required for my hair to be up in a bun, or else!
Or else what, you ask? Or else I’ll wake up cranky, irritated, frustrated, sleep deprived and wondering why my hair hates me enough to want to strangle me in my sleep!
I seriously can not sleep with my hair down, as it will either end up in my eyes and mouth, or wrap around my neck, while I’m tossing and turning in an attempt to make myself more comfortable.
It’s long enough to literally strangle me, and sometimes it does.
My hair is literally long enough for you to wrap it around my neck and strangle me to death! Seriously!
If that’s not enough to scare you into not wanting my hair, try having an older brother who will constantly remind you that it is possible for someone to kill you with your own hair, by demonstrating! (No he has not literally strangled me with it, but just knowing that it’s possible for someone to do so, is enough.)
It’s too thin to do what I really want with it.
I hate when people ask why I don’t do anything with my hair! It’s because:
(1) I’m not a hair stylist, I have no clue what I’m doing,
(2) It’s not going to cooperate even if I did know what the hell I was doing.
My hair is really thin, so instead of just making myself really frustrated (and extra late for work) every day, I choose the easy way out. (Since when was that ever a crime? Yeah, exactly, never!)
People accidentally sit or lay back on it.
This may be the most annoying issue out of them all. How many of you want random strangers laying back on your hair, or even touching it at all in any way? I’ll wait …
Now imagine people sitting next to you on the crowded train or bus and moving around, watching your hair as it slowly moves with them because some way some how they’ve managed to get a piece of your hair stuck on to themselves.
Yeah, exactly, totally not okay! (And yes this has actually happened! Ugh! I had to say excuse me so I could gently pull my hair away.)
It’s long enough to get caught in my zippers.
I get cold easily, so I wear sweaters often, but it’s no fun getting my hair stuck in my zipper! (And it’s definitely not fun having to tear my hair out of the zipper to get un-stuck!)
I think I’ve made my case here.
Absolutely flat if straightened, but way too poofy when curly.
My hair obviously doesn’t like me because it’s never the way I want it!
If I straighten it, it’s miserably flat and looks absolutely disgusting! (To me at least.) But if I leave it curly, it will stay exactly the way I want it to for about 20 minutes (or at least until I have to leave the house) and then it starts getting poofy and frizzy!
(These are the days I wish I wore weave, weave doesn’t disappoint you or mislead you. It is what it is! Ugh!)
People think it’s okay to touch my hair. (It’s not!)
I don’t care HOW long I’ve known you, there’s only ONE person I like playing in my hair and that’s my boyfriend! (And since at this very moment I am currently single, that means NO ONE should be playing with my hair!)
I don’t mind if my daughter brushes my hair when it’s straight (as long as she’s just brushing it and not trying to do anything crazy, lol), however I’d prefer for her to keep her hands out of my hair as well.
I just don’t like the feeling of people playing with my hair! So don’t!
I’ve said yes to the million dollar question, a million times!
Lastly, but surely not the least important, I am tired of people asking, “Is that your real hair?” Yes dammit! Yes it is! My grandfather was half white, and apparently I get my hair from him (so my family says) so please ask him why an african american has such “nice” hair and not me because I do not know!What makes it worse is when people pretend they don’t believe and want proof. Seriously people? Ugh! BYE!
So there you have it people! This (among many other reasons I have failed to mention) is why I hate my hair! You are not allowed to argue, how ever you are allowed to agree! (Simple enough right? Lol)
If you can relate (or even if you can’t) go ahead and express your opinion below and let me know! (Or not, the choice is totally yours! You just don’t have a say in whether I cut my hair or not, okay? Good! Lol)